Happy Birthday!

Holy crap, my blog is 1 year old today. We need to throw a party!

And unlike Kirk Cameron's birthday parties, there's going to be people at this one.

What's the term for when a blog turns 1? Blogiversary? Blorthday?

Either way, it's hard to believe that it's been an entire year since my first post. There's so many people I'd like to thank. First and foremost - myself. I couldn't have done it without me. And actually, that's it. Just me.

As a special gift for all of you, my loyal readers, I've decided to peel back the curtain and give you another FAQS About Undocumented Facts: First Year Anniblogsary Edition! Yippee!

- Not counting this post, there were 85 posts in the first year of Undocumented Facts. That works out to basically 7 posts a month, or a post every 4 1/4 days. 

- At least 7 of those posts weren't me simply posting a single image and writing 2 sentences about it, or crap I wrote 10 years ago, or Cousin Balki. I know it doesn't seem that way some times, but it's true.

- The 5 most viewed posts, according to the stats I have access to, are the following:

          #5: FAQs about Undocumented Facts: Meet the Johnsons!

          #4: Lame.

          #3: Reckless Activities for Stupid People Version 5.0: Stupid Lives!

          #2: Undocumented Facts Part 2

          #1: Costume Conundrum

- The reasons #'s 1-4 above there are what they are is because at various times, some of the random pictures I've put in my posts have ended up being one of the top GIS results. For Lame. the picture was a top result for "spider-man fat," "fat black spider-man" "black fat spider man" and a variety of other combinations of those words. For a long time, if you did a Google Image Search for the phrase "bored guy" the dude at the top of my Undocumented Facts Part 2 post was the top result. Reckless Activities for Stupid People Version 5.0: Stupid Lives! is one of the top Google results if you search for "reckless activities, "stupid activities," or "activities for stupid people." And Costume Conundrum got so many views because it's a top search for "spiderman speedo." And strangely, for a while it was getting a lot of hits as a result of people doing a search for "fancy dress borat" and "fancy dress costume."

Because nothing says "Fancy Dress" like man-toe.

FAQs about Undocumented Facts: Meet the Johnsons! got a lot of hits because apparently people actually liked it. I'm just as surprised by that as you are.

And in case anyone's wondering, my favorite post was Max to the eXtrEmE!!!! I think it's my best one. It ranks 7th in overall views.

- Aside from the search terms listed above, the other most popular Google search that brings traffic to the blog is, not surprisingly, "undocumented facts." Granted, most of the people performing those searches are probably racist, but I'll take the traffic any way I can get it.

They're probably looking for images closer to this than to Fancy Borat up there.

- The top 5 countries where my viewership comes from, according to Google, are:

          #5: Canada

          #4: Russia (I'm pretty sure this is from spam-bots and phishing attempts. But hits are hits!)

          #3: United Kingdom

          #2: Bahamas (Thanks, Grant and Katie!)

          #1: USA. (Woo-hoo! We're number 1! USA! USA! USA!)

- Undocumented Facts has been viewed twice on a Nintendo Wii. That amuses me.

So there's some of the behind the scenes info from Undocumented Facts' first year. If you're trying to figure out the best way to celebrate this monumental event, why don't you go back to the very first post and re-read all of them in order? There's actually an overall narrative to the entire blog that only becomes apparent when you read the entire thing in order.

SPOILER ALERT!: The bad guys are The Danish.

And for real, thanks to all of you who have taken the time to read any of my posts. Hopefully they're actually funny once in a while, and you'll all stick around for Year 2. 

Batman's sticking around. Ain't that right, Batman of La Mancha?

Oh, Batman. You're such a kidder.

FAQs about Undocumented Facts: Meet the Johnsons!

Welcome to a new feature on the blog - FAQs about Undocumented Facts! In these posts I will attempt to answer the myriad of hard-hitting questions I get asked by you, the readers.

Well, "myriad" might be a bit of a stretch. I'm pretty much only asked 3 questions in relation to the blog: "Was that supposed to be funny?", "Oh, you're still doing the blogging thing?" and "Why are you like this?" In the inaugural installment of FAQAUF (pronounced "Fak-Off") I'll be tackling the third question.

I can't think of a better way to explain why I am the way I am than by introducing all of you to my family. Once you "meet" them I think it'll clear up a lot of things.

First up is my mom and dad, Linda and Tom. They used to both work in the banking industry, but now spend their time solving mysteries in New England with a talking cat. As you can probably tell I inherited my height from my mom and my sense of humor and athletic ability from my dad.

These are my brothers Grant and Gary. They're conjoined twins. Grant is the taller one with a bit of a hunchback. Gary is the "wild child" of the pair with a minor skin problem. Grant is a personal trainer at a YWCA in Indianapolis. Gary works customer service for United Airlines at the Cincinnati Airport. From what I hear their commute is a bit of a bitch.

These are my sister-wives. To be honest with you, I'm really bad with names and I think they all look alike, so I have no idea who's who. I'm pretty sure one of their names is Cassie. I think they all have jobs, but I'm a little fuzzy on the details. As any guy can tell you, it's pretty hard keeping track of 3 sister-wives. And before any of you conservative religious types get your panties in bunch - relax. "Sister-wives" is just an expression. They're not really sisters.

This is Bob. About a week after we moved into our house we discovered Bob in the attic, living in a nest he had made out of insulation and hats from the 1920s. We haven't been able to get him to leave, so we pretty much just adopted him. He's harmless, as long as you don't bring up Woodrow Wilson.

You've already met my dog, Ace, in previous posts. What most people don't know is that he's the webmaster of the Minneapolis "Team Jacob" fan club. He's such a smart doggie.

And that all leads to your host - me. This picture was taken the day before I entered a Jeff Foxworthy Look-a-Like contest. I came in third. Git 'r' done!

Well, that's my family. Hopefully it gives all of you a little insight into what makes me the amazingly brilliant and hilarious person I am.

I hope you all enjoyed the first installment of FAQs about Undocumented Facts! If you have any questions you'd like answered in a future post, leave them in the comments.