Max to the eXtrEmE!!!!

I'm typing this while doing a 480 heel-float on the heli-vert.

That's totally me.

Why? Because I'm HardCORE EXTREME to the MAX!! Wiggidy-wiggidy whack!

You want to know how totally eXTReme I am? Let me run you through my typical day, after the jump.

More like Bungee Jump! Face!!!!!!

After waking up and showering, I moto-cross to the bathroom and brush my teeth.

Because fuck plaque! That's why.

And then I backflip over to the medicine cabinet to apply some D to the O-D rant. Because stinky pits is the pits, yo.

In your face, armpit!

After I parkour downstairs to the kitchen, I pass on breakfast and just take a multi-vitamin. ExtrEme actions require EXTReme health!

Konichiwa, bitches!

I then head out to work. I get to work by setting off a series of explosions, and dramatically get hurled through the air in front of them in SLOW-MOTION until I reach my destination. It looks fucking SWEET!!!!!!11!

Once at work I probably have a kitchen or two to measure. But I don't do it like no pussy.

BOOYA!

That's a tape measure that shouts out the dimensions to you while spraying Mt Dew Pitch Black around the room. What WHAT?!!

Around this time I'm usually getting a little hungry. So it's snackedy-snack-snack-snackysnack time.

It's yogurt that punches you in the dick.

After work, I car-surf home while giving myself a tattoo. When I get there, it's time to feed the fish.

My fish all have pierced gills.

To start to wind down after a hardcore day, I huff a can of paint and do a little light reading.

I extremE read at a 3rd grade level.

Finally it's time to call it a day. I cage fight a grizzly on my way up the stairs, and then it's time to hit the sack.

Also totally me.

More like hit the nutsack!! Fuck yeah!!54!

And then I do it all over again the next day. Only even more Max EXtrEmE to the Hardcore! Can you dig it!!?