Newt Gingrich Eats Babies!

What's that? A shocking, probably untrue and possibly libelous headline? Looks like someone is fishing for web hits again.

Although those could be caramel covered baby heads.

That's right, it's another post where I include a bunch of random crap in an attempt to drive up web traffic. This time around I'm calling it a Shameless Attempt to Fraudulently Redirect Online search eNgines! Or SAFRON - if you ignore some words, proper capitalization and common sense when it comes to making acronyms. Let's get this party started!

I'm pretty sure Paris Hilton is still popular. She's that slutty girl, right?

That's hot.

Honestly, I don't see what all the fuss is about.

I know for a fact that Charlie Sheen has been all over the news recently. I think because he wrestled some tigers.

I loved him in Apocalypse Now.

That should help this blog seem hip and current.

It feels like everyone around me lately has been talking about Lobster soda pop. It sounds delicious.

It goes great with Octopus Ice Cream.

Actually, now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure I just made that up.

One thing that I definitely have been hearing people talk about is Umpires. I know, it seems weird. But between Twilight, Buffy, and a ton of other books and movies, they're apparently pretty popular. So here you go.

Ladies.

That should attract both the pre-teen and middle-age females. 

If you've spent any time with teenagers lately, you know they can't get enough Spanish Mission Revival architecture.

Who could blame them?

I'm getting all tingly and excited just thinking about it.

And since by this point I'm sure I have thousands of unintentional readers of this post, I might as well point out that my book is available on Amazon.com and Barnes and Noble for only 99 cents!

Have I mentioned this before?

You should really check it out.

That's it for this edition of SUKOFF, or whatever. A big Undocumented Facts welcome to all my new and confused readers that found this post under false pretenses. Enjoy your stay!