Undocumented Facts: 2011 Year in Review

Hey, remember when I used to do posts called Undocumented Facts that would reveal truths and information that had never been documented before, thereby giving this blog its name? Me either.

The end of the year is upon us. Pretty much every website in the world is publishing their "Year in Review" columns this week, going over notable news stories, music, movies, people and whatnot from the past year. Since every blog is already doing this I thought I would do something different to stand out from the crowd. Then I changed my mind and decided to do the same thing everyone else is doing.

Hooray, conformity!

So here it is, 2011 in review, Undocumented Facts style. Get pumped, nimrods!

Pictured: A pumped nimrod.

- January: The Washington Monument was dismantled and rebuilt exactly the same except one inch shorter in order to be more anatomically correct.

The bill to rename it the "Wang-ington Monument" was narrowly out-voted.

- March: Due to the success of their "Double Down" sandwich, KFC releases a new sandwich called "All or Nothing" that consists of mashed potatoes and gravy between 2 pieces of fried chicken skin. It does not do as well.

- March: It is revealed that beloved actor Sir Ian McKellen doesn't really exist, and has just been an elaborate prank played by unemployed plumber Joe Kowalski from New Jersey.

"It was funny to me. Maybe you had to be there."

- June: Tired of the continual mocking of its name, Peru officially changes the name of Lake Titicaca to Lake Boobieshit.

 - July: I finally went to therapy to get to the root of my long-standing fear of clowns. Turns out I'm afraid of them because clowns are just really fucking scary.

Seriously. Fuck clowns.

- September: Comedian Yakov Smirnoff announced he would retire from his nightly performance gig in Branson, MO, after performing every night for 23 years straight to a completely empty theater.

"In Soviet Russia, jokes tell you! I'm so lonely."

- November: Undocumented Facts is sued by the entire internet for false advertising over its tagline "The most important blog in the world." In a landmark decision, the judge rules that Undocumented Facts truly is the most important blog in the world, and everyone else is just being whiny suck-tards.

Bite me, internet!

Happy New Year, everyone!