Blockity Block McBlock

Man, it seems like it's been weeks since I've written anything here. Oh, it actually has been weeks? Awkward.

For the three of you that actually pay any attention to this blog, I'm sure you've noticed that the last few months have brought fewer, shorter, and more sporadic posts. There's several reasons contributing to why this has happened, but I'm not going to bore you with them. What it boils down to is Writer's Block. My ideas have dried up for the moment. And that's using the word "ideas" rather liberally, as readers of the blog know all too well.

I'm not quite ready to call it quits on the blog, but to be honest it will almost for certain be a while before I start posting with any regularity again. A very tiny person is coming to live with me and the sister wives any day now, and that will probably take up a little bit of my time.

But I am planning what I think is an interesting and potentially entertaining experiment for this blog come April or May. So please, check back in occasionally. Hopefully I'll get out of this writing slump before too long.

And to help hold you over for a little while, here is an awesome image I found. No need to thank me.

Unlike that jaunty, one-shoulder, flowered cape.

See you soon!

Reckless Activities for Stupid People #6

Man, my posting frequency has gone way down the last few months, hasn't it? Apparently all my post ideas came from cigarettes. Who knew?

Fortunately for me, this has happened before. Yes, back when I was writing a quarterly column, I still couldn't keep up with any kind of deadline, and as a result wrote a Reckless Activities for Stupid People column based off of that very idea. Thanks, Past Me! For once you didn't screw over Current Me.

But we both hate Future Me. Fuck that guy.

So here you go, yet another old Reckless Activities for Stupid People column is after the jump. Try to contain yourselves.

Excuses, Excuses.

Once again, I find myself overdue for getting a post up. I had a great idea all lined up, and was just about to start writing, when I discovered that Lifetime has back-to-back episodes of Reba on right now.

That Barbra Jean sure cracks me up.

Well, needless to say, I'm only human. That's just too much entertainment to pass up. And I'm sure after the shows are over I'll want to sit quietly in my room with the TV off and reflect on the lessons Reba has just taught me. At least if past experience is any indication. 

Guess that new post will have to wait. I'm sure you'll manage. Somehow.

Happy Memorial Day!

This guy here can sum up my plans for the day better than words ever could.

Happy Memorial Day, everyone!

Phoning It In

Between being sick for several days and work being terrible for the past week, I have neither the time nor motivation to get a real post up. Instead of posting some of my old stuff, I decided to be even more Danish and post someone else's stuff.

So here's a video my brother shot and put together, (who you all met in this post. He's the tall one.) It's a pretty cool look at the wildlife you can see in and around Bimini, which is a pair of small islands in the Bahamas where he and his girlfriend, Katie, live and work.

And hopefully next time I'll have a post of my own to put up. Or, if this gets a lot of hits, maybe I'll just show Grant's videos from now on and coast on his labor. I'm cool with either.

The Post That Ended Religious Strife

Since I already ended racism in a previous post, I figured I might as well go ahead and end religious strife as well.

So every religious leader in the world - take a look at this.

Awwwwwwwwwwwww.

I think we can all agree that that is one cute picture. And if we can agree on that, just think of what else we might be able to agree on?

You're welcome, Religion.

My Shortest Story Ever

Once again I need to get a post up and I have absolutely no ideas. I blame it on my car getting broken into. Seems reasonable.

Anyway, instead of throwing up another Reckless Activities for Stupid People column, I decided to do something a little bit different with my laziness.

So here is the shortest story I've ever had published. I submitted it for a "micro-fiction" contest way back in 1999. "Micro-fiction" in this case meant a story with a beginning, middle and end, all in less than 100 words. I was one of the three winners for the contest, and the story was published in a magazine called "Quicker" back in the winter of 99/00. It was a magazine devoted to flash-fiction, which usually is defined as stories of less than 500 words. I'm pretty sure for winning I got my story published in a magazine with a circulation in the low triple digits, and probably one free copy of said magazine.

My story is entitled "Tag," and including the title clocks in at 96 words. If you've got 7 seconds to spare, give it a read.

TAG

The sweat trickled down Jack’s face and neck as he crashed through the woods at top speed. Branches and thorns tore at his skin and clothing, but he ignored them. He didn’t want to be It.

            Jack had always hated playing tag. Especially with Brett. Brett could be so brutal, so cruel. And today was worse than ever.

            A branch tripped Jack and he crashed to the ground. He turned in horror as he heard footsteps behind him. Brett stood there, grinning maniacally.

            “Tag, you’re it,” Brett said as he raised the gun and fired.