Put My Book In Your NOOK

(Alternate title: I Did It All For The NOOK E-reader.)


Hey, remember how I released a book of my short stories a few months ago called Sometimes Evil Just Don't Pay? No? That makes sense, considering how the sales have been.

Although I was able to cash in my royalty check for upwards of 12 nickels.

When I originally put it up for sale, it was part of a special promotion on Amazon which meant it had to be exclusive to Amazon for at least the first 90 days. Well, those 90 days have long since passed. And considering that my first book, Lifetimes of Blood, has continued selling fairly consistently through Barnes and Noble, I figured it was about time I got my 2nd book up there.

So rejoice, NOOK havers! Sometimes Evil Just Don't Pay, my collection of 14 short stories, is now available through barnesandnoble.com! In fact, that's a link to it right up there! How considerate.

And lest you forget, Lifetimes of Blood is also available on barnesandnoble.com. The link is right here! Holy crap that's convenient!

(And just for fun, the Amazon links for the 2 books are here and here.)

As I mention every time I post about my books, and yet people still don't seem to get, you don't actually have to own a NOOK or Kindle to read the books. You can read them right on your computer through your  browser, or download free apps that allow you to read it on your ipad, phone, laptop, or any other wireless device.

Hell, about the only way you can't read them is on paper. Unless you print them out, of course. Or if you're one of the few people who bought LoB back when it was originally published. Or if you have the original publications that any of the previously published short stories appeared in. You know what, just forget this whole part.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot to mention - Sometimes Evil Just Don't Pay is only $1.99! That's stupid cheap. And Lifetimes of Blood is still only 99 cents! That's stupider cheaper!

So go buy my book right now. I promise you won't regret it.

Ok, you might regret it. But I promise you I won't regret it.

Lifetimes of Blood - The Origin!

It's been one of those weeks where I feel like there's a ton of stuff that I either need or want to get done, and just not enough hours in the day to do so.

This couch isn't going to sleep on itself, for example.

So as usual when that happens, I dig up something a wrote a decade ago and post that instead. This week, in light of my collection of short stories being released, (Sometimes Evil Just Don't Pay, in case you forgot,) I've decided to post one of my short stories that I didn't include in the book. And to tie it in with my other book, (Lifetimes of Blood, in case you forgot that, too,) it's the short story that Lifetimes of Blood was based off of.

This was my second story ever published, although it was the third or fourth accepted for publication. The first sentence of the story had been stuck in my head for a day or two, and eventually I came up with the story to go with it. After it was published, the editor that had published my first story emailed me to say he had read and liked it, and thought it would make for a good screenplay. I didn't feel ready to tackle writing a screenplay at that point, but thinking about it caused me to fill in more of the story. Once I came up with the idea for The Other One that was pretty much the missing piece and I turned it into a novella.

Those who have read Lifetimes of Blood will notice that I used a good portion of this story as the third chapter in LOB. I basically just cut out the flashbacks, since they were chapters of their own now, and embellished a little. Incidentally, I had forgot until re-reading this story just now that I pretty clearly insinuated that Jonas was Jeffrey Dahmer. At the time it was current.

So here you go, after the jump - The Origin of Lifetimes of Blood. I know you'll sleep better knowing all this.

Self-Esteem Booster

At some time or another, every single one of us feels fat. It doesn't matter if you're 6' 2", 135 lbs with negative 15% body fat. Once in a while you're going to feel overweight.

This weekend I followed up Thanksgiving dinner by eating at a buffet for the next 3 days straight. I'm pretty sure I consumed somewhere around 57,000 calories in a 4 day period. Luckily I did it while I was at a casino in Wisconsin. And let me tell you, no matter how fat I felt and how much I ate, all I had to do was look around to feel better about myself.

This is what the entire casino looked like.

Sure, I lost hundreds of dollars over the course of the weekend, but it was worth it to secretly judge people that are much, much fatter than I am. A few hundred bucks seems like a small price to pay. Plus, where else can you do that?

Other than everywhere in America, according to this chart.

As much of a self-esteem boost as the casino was, you know what would be an even bigger boost to my fragile ego? If you people would BUY MY BOOK. Seriously. I pretty much know every person that has purchased a copy so far, and chances are you aren't one of them.

There's 3 good reasons you should buy my book: 

1) It's only 99 cents.

2) It's a pretty damn good read, if I do say so myself.

3) I need sales in order to make sales. My book won't show up in other people's recommendations or "People who purchase ______ also purchased ____" type links unless I have enough sales to start popping up. So for the low, low price of 99 cents you can help my book get noticed by other potential buyers.

It's available both through the Kindle and Nook stores, and if you're reading this blog you have a device that you can read the book on. So give it a shot. And then write a review, because that helps attract more buyers, too. After all the priceless tips and information I've given you for free on this blog, it's really the least you can do.

Buy My Book!

If I could, I would have this playing constantly in the background when you come to this page. Be thankful I don't know enough about html to do that.

Sorry, where was I? Oh yeah. Buy my book!

That's right. My long out of print, bestselling* debut novella is now available once again. This time in electronic form! It's like some kind of future book.

Lifetimes of Blood, with a wonderful new cover by Kory Kolvig, is now available through the Amazon Kindle store for the low, low price of $0.99. You read that correctly; less than a buck!

And I must say, it looks pretty damn cool on the Kindle. Nothing can quite compare to the feeling I got the first time I held a physical copy of this book in my hands, (over 10 years ago now. Damn.) But this comes pretty close. Kory's cover still looks cool in the grayscale of the Kindle, and the rest of the package came through just as I wanted it to. I have to admit, I'm pretty pleased with this book -  both the writing and the presentation.

In case you're unaware, or the title and cover don't make it clear, Lifetimes of Blood is not like the "writing" I do here on the blog. It's a horror story, and fairly gory and graphic in parts. It would definitely be a rated "R" movie. Here's the description that's on amazon.com:

Immortal Enemies...
Homeless people gutted on the streets of New York at the turn of the century...soldiers left in compromising positions with their throats slit in World War II London...high school athletes tortured for days in the Heartland of America in recent times. Scores of murders, spanning even a greater number of years. And all with one horrifying, disturbing, evil connection: a man named Jonas.

But now, after one hundred years, The Other One is finally closing in on Jonas. Can he put an end to an evil that has lasted for over a century? Or will Jonas yet again escape to spread his particular brand of terror for untold years to come?

 Doesn't that sound exciting? And did I mention it's only 99 cents?

Seriously, if you have a Kindle, you should give it a try. If you don't have a Kindle, you can get a free Kindle app for any computer, Mac, smart phone, tablet or other device here. The app is free, so you've got no reason not to. Also, if you are going to buy it, I'd appreciate if you use one of the links I've included in this post, or the window on the right of the blog. That way I get a few extra pennies.

So go buy my book! If you like it, I'd really love it if you just take a few seconds and give it a review on Amazon. Hell, even if you don't like it give it a review.  Books that have numerous reviews sell better than books with one or two.

And in case I haven't said it yet, it's only $0.99! That's practically free. The next time you're in line at the gas station or grocery store, just skip buying a candy bar and you've already made the money back. Plus you'll save yourself a couple hundred calories and won't be one step closer to diabetes. So buying my book can actually save your life. It's a fact!**

Just buy the damn thing already. I'd do it for you.


*It was the bestselling book I've ever had published. So this is technically true.

**This is almost certainly not a fact. Who cares? Buy my book!