I'm Rich!

Ok, the title is a little misleading. I'm not rich . . . yet. But I will be pretty soon.

Wanna know how? Get a load of this -

Ancient Americans referred to these as "Fool's Balls."
Who's the fool now?

From what I've read online, there's like $500 million hidden inside of one of these (don't ask me how they fit it in there.)

So I went out and bought $3,000 worth of them today. At 25 cents a piece that works out to like a million of them. One of them is sure to be the one stuffed with a $500 million dollar bill.

When I'm filthy rich, I'll try not to let the money go to my head.

My stomach, however, is another matter.

No promises, poor people.

Thanksgiving - Synonym Style!

Remember last year when I did a hilarious Thanksgiving post chock full of jokes and whimsy that that was fun for old and young alike? Well, I'm not doing that this year. That's way too much work.

So instead, I hope this Thanksgiving everyone gets plenty of...

With a side of...

Plus a heaping helping of...

And why not finish it off with a good ole' slice of...

Math is tasty!

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Which Came First - The Chicken or The Crab?

A few weeks back, myself and 1 to 3 of the sister-wives spent a long weekend in Phoenix, Arizona.

It's like Mississippi in the desert.

One night, while dining in the strangely empty downtown Phoenix*, I spied what the menu described as "Crab stuffed Chicken." Being a fan of foods that are one type of animal shoved inside of other types of animals, I ordered it without hesitation. 

To my dismay, it was not a whole chicken with an entire crab - shell and all - shoved inside of it. What it was was 2 nicely grilled chicken breasts with a crab cake mashed in between. So it was basically a high class version of KFC's Double Down sandwich.

So essentially this. But, you know, good.

I truly, honestly, never would have thought I'd be disappointed in anything that could be described as "Double Down-esque." It's not that it wasn't good. It just in no way was a chicken with a crab crammed inside of it. And dammit, that's what I ordered. What's happened to this country?

What happened, America? You used to be cool.

Excuse me. I think I need some time alone.

* I'm planning on writing a post about this. But considering my past track record when I've mentioned certain subjects that I plan to write about but haven't actually written yet, I wouldn't hold your breath. 

Bat-Election-Tuesday

I'm thinking this is the year it finally happens.

USA! USA!