Meet Bob Ducca

I know I've posted a couple youtube videos on here in the past, but those were both by my brother, and I was even briefly in one of them, so there was at least a tenuous link to myself to make them relevant to posting here.

Not so with today's post. This is simply a video that I found so funny I was in tears at several points. And since I don't have an idea of my own at the moment, I figured I'd might as well share. Once again my lack of motivation and work ethic is your gain.

Just a heads up, there isn't really any "video" aspect to this video. These are 4 bits of comedian Seth Morris doing his character Bob Ducca on the Comedy Death-Ray/Comedy Bang Bang podcast. It's freaking hilarious. So enjoy.

Bat-Tuesday

Hey, Batman Overboard! Long time no see.

Geeze, you're always so hostile. You know, I was going to ask you to join me in my birthday celebration, but since you're being such a jerk...

Oh, alright. You know I can't stay mad at you, Batman.

What? I thought we were going to celebrate my birthday. Where are you going?

Wait a minute. Did you have a surprise party planned for me this whole time?

You're a sneaky one, Bat-o-Nine-Tails. But, well, this is kind of awkward. I don't think I can afford to fly down to Florida on such short notice.

I don't think that will work. We're not all billionaires with teams of accountants. I know this is asking a lot, especially since you're already throwing me a birthday party, but I don't suppose you could spring for the ticket? 

Yaaay!! I'm going to have a birthday party in Florida with Batman!

Important Advice for the Children

This is Billy.

Hi Billy!

Billy loved video games. Billy also loved super-heroes. So Billy desperately wanted the new Lego Batman 2: DC Super Heroes Video game.

And for some reason he wanted the European version, apparently. 

Billy's parents were mean and wouldn't buy the game for him, so he decided to earn the money himself by mowing lawns in the neighborhood.

But only after he had cut and dyed his hair.

While mowing the neighbor's lawn, a meteor fell out of the sky and hit Billy on the head.

Meteors are the dickbags of Outer Space.

Billy was OK, but the meteor had a strange effect on him. After getting hit on the head by the meteor, Billy no longer wanted to play video games! Duhn-duhn-duuuuhhhn.

The lesson here kids: Don't be like Billy. Stay inside at all times.

Science!

V.I.C.I. from Small Wonder Says:

Where did Cousin Balki go? Also, my hair?

Put My Book In Your NOOK

(Alternate title: I Did It All For The NOOK E-reader.)


Hey, remember how I released a book of my short stories a few months ago called Sometimes Evil Just Don't Pay? No? That makes sense, considering how the sales have been.

Although I was able to cash in my royalty check for upwards of 12 nickels.

When I originally put it up for sale, it was part of a special promotion on Amazon which meant it had to be exclusive to Amazon for at least the first 90 days. Well, those 90 days have long since passed. And considering that my first book, Lifetimes of Blood, has continued selling fairly consistently through Barnes and Noble, I figured it was about time I got my 2nd book up there.

So rejoice, NOOK havers! Sometimes Evil Just Don't Pay, my collection of 14 short stories, is now available through barnesandnoble.com! In fact, that's a link to it right up there! How considerate.

And lest you forget, Lifetimes of Blood is also available on barnesandnoble.com. The link is right here! Holy crap that's convenient!

(And just for fun, the Amazon links for the 2 books are here and here.)

As I mention every time I post about my books, and yet people still don't seem to get, you don't actually have to own a NOOK or Kindle to read the books. You can read them right on your computer through your  browser, or download free apps that allow you to read it on your ipad, phone, laptop, or any other wireless device.

Hell, about the only way you can't read them is on paper. Unless you print them out, of course. Or if you're one of the few people who bought LoB back when it was originally published. Or if you have the original publications that any of the previously published short stories appeared in. You know what, just forget this whole part.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot to mention - Sometimes Evil Just Don't Pay is only $1.99! That's stupid cheap. And Lifetimes of Blood is still only 99 cents! That's stupider cheaper!

So go buy my book right now. I promise you won't regret it.

Ok, you might regret it. But I promise you I won't regret it.

Heat Wave

You know, folks, it's so hot outside today.

How hot is it?

It's so hot ... you really should make sure you drink plenty of fluids to avoid heat stroke. Maybe just stay inside.

Hiyooo!