So Much Meat

About two weeks ago for our first anniversary, my wife and I went to dinner at a restaurant that she described to me as a Brazilian meat buffet.

(Surprisingly, when you Google "Brazilian Meat Buffet" it is not a slang term for some disgusting, filthy sex act. Let's see if we can change that. Leave your ideas in the comments.)

Whatever's going on behind this picture is only as filthy as your imagination.

Two weeks later, I'm still full.

It was great, but seriously, I ate so much meat...

"How much meat did you eat?"

I ate so much meat that Ted Nugent swore off hunting for life.

Wango zee Tango, indeed.

I ate so much meat that PETA sent me a letter that simply said "You win."

I ate so much meat I had to change the eye color on my drivers license to "beef."

I ate so much meat that three days later I pooped a live cow.

At least I can use the carpool lane now.

What I'm trying to say is I ate a lot of meat.