Undocumented Facts: High School Reunion Edition

A few weeks back I had my 20 year high school reunion. In addition to making me feel very, very old, I also learned quite a few new things. They were facts that were previously unknown. Some might even say they were undocumented.

Not me though. So here's a list of a bunch of stuff that I discovered at my high school reunion. Strap on your bifocals and enjoy the ride!

 - Thanks to changing hairstyles and/or male pattern baldness, the total weight of my class's hair is one third what it was 20 years ago.

And in this guy's case, both reasons apply.

- Despite what every single person who talked to me may believe, I have not grown since high school. Everyone else has shrunk 3 inches, however.

- Just like eating wedding cake on your 1st year anniversary, the appetizers at our 20 year reunion were all leftovers from our graduation party.

- While most everyone, myself included, felt like we all looked the same as we did 20 years ago, that simply isn't true. It's a trick our minds play on us, as can be plainly seen by the below picture showing me in high school and me now.

That's some glorious hair, though.

- One of my former classmates is a sleeper agent for the U.S.S.R. 

- Contrary to what I've been telling people for the last 20 years, I did not go to high school with ALF. Turns out it was just some short, hairy kid.

I could have swore I once saw him eat a cat, though.

- Feeling all nostalgic after the reunion, I decided to relive my high school days by drunkenly sneaking into my parents house at 1:30 in the morning without waking them. It made for an awkward morning the next day. Especially since my parents don't live in that house anymore.

Holy Overused Headline Bit, Batman!

Were you aware that there's currently a Batman movie out? I had no idea. For some reason they stupidly left the word "Batman" out of the title of their Batman movie, so I wouldn't be surprised if this was news to most people.

I discovered it purely by accident. I went to the theater last night hoping to catch "Jack and Jill," (It stars Adam Sandler as both a man AND a woman! How could that not be funny?) Much to my surprise that movie was no longer showing at my local cine-plex. So instead I decided to try out some movie called "The Dark Knight Rises." And let me tell you, it almost made me happy to not be seeing 2 Adam Sandlers, (key word being almost.) The Batman movie was awesome. You really need to go see it.

Adam West does a great job in this movie.

It's a real shame for this movie to be flying under everyone's radar, (Get it? Batman. Radar. Both words have 2 A's in them. It's a pun!) So go see the new Batman movie, and then tell some friends to go see it. If we're lucky, maybe they'll make a sequel or a couple prequels or something.

Sick Day

I was planning on getting a new post up tonight, but I've been sick as a dog all day.

Like this guy, but without the beret.

Not surprisingly, it's harder trying to be funny when you feel like utter crap. So hopefully I'll get a real post up within the next day or two.

I know you're disappointed. But we'll get through this. Together.

TC from Magnum P.I. Says:

I've got a kick-ass helicopter, and I still haven't been able to find Cousin Balki.