Which Came First - The Chicken or The Crab?

A few weeks back, myself and 1 to 3 of the sister-wives spent a long weekend in Phoenix, Arizona.

It's like Mississippi in the desert.

One night, while dining in the strangely empty downtown Phoenix*, I spied what the menu described as "Crab stuffed Chicken." Being a fan of foods that are one type of animal shoved inside of other types of animals, I ordered it without hesitation. 

To my dismay, it was not a whole chicken with an entire crab - shell and all - shoved inside of it. What it was was 2 nicely grilled chicken breasts with a crab cake mashed in between. So it was basically a high class version of KFC's Double Down sandwich.

So essentially this. But, you know, good.

I truly, honestly, never would have thought I'd be disappointed in anything that could be described as "Double Down-esque." It's not that it wasn't good. It just in no way was a chicken with a crab crammed inside of it. And dammit, that's what I ordered. What's happened to this country?

What happened, America? You used to be cool.

Excuse me. I think I need some time alone.

* I'm planning on writing a post about this. But considering my past track record when I've mentioned certain subjects that I plan to write about but haven't actually written yet, I wouldn't hold your breath.